Leaving the House With Twins

Obviously I knew that having twins would make leaving the house into a bigger hassle than when it was just Tyson and me ("Shall we leave the house?"  "Yes."  The end.)  I just didn't know that I was going to be planning my entire day around it...

90 minutes out:  Do my own hair and makeup.

70 minutes out:  Lay out my clothes and jewelry on the bed, so everything is ready to go (because that stuff is going to be spit up, drooled, peed, and/or pooped on if I get dressed anytime before The Last Freaking Second before we walk out the door).  Sometimes I'm also nice and lay out Tyson's clothes.

60 minutes out:  Pack up diaper bag with: (1) extra set of clothes for each kid, (4-6) disposable diapers, plus diaper cream and wipes, (2) blankets, (2) bottles of thawed milk (plus the ice pack if I haven't pumped recently and it needs to be kept cold), (2) bibs, (3-4) burp cloths, (1) extra set of pacifiers, and, oh yeah, all of my stuff like wallet, keys, lip balm, etc.

40 minutes: out:  Feed Baby #1. (This is ideal.  Sometimes they decide to eat sooner than this, sometimes later.  Like when we were trying to go to church at 9:30 one weekend and they were SUPPOSED to be due to eat around 9:00, so I kept waiting until they wanted to eat so I didn't have to force feed them but they decided that they didn't really want to eat until more like 9:40.  So...yeah.  9:30 church.  Not so much.)

30 minutes out:  Pass Baby #1 off to Tyson to be burped.  Feed Baby #2.

20 minutes out:  Change Baby #1's diaper and into their Going Out Outfit.

15 minutes out:  Change Baby #2's diaper and into their Going Out Outfit, which has been carefully chosen to coordinate with Baby #1's.

10 minutes out:  Tell Tyson to change clothes and get ready and what do you MEAN you haven't even shaved or brushed your own teeth yet?!?

5 minutes out:  Change into my clothes.  Tyson packs both babies into their car seats.

2 minutes out:  Double-check that we have everything

1 minute out:  Tyson and I put our shoes on.  It's go-time!

20 seconds out:  Caden and/or Brooklyn fill their diaper spectacularly.  And/or spit up all over their outfit/carseat.

The Time We Were Supposed To Leave:  Repeat (most of) the above steps.  In reverse order.  This time, also cleaning up a good portion of a(the) baby(ies) and/or their clothes, carseats, etc., etc., etc.

Don't look at me like that.  You're lucky to see the light of day.

Same goes for you.

That's better.