Christmas

Mary Knew

“In the sixth month of Elizabeth’s pregnancy, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. The angel went to her and said, ‘Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.’

Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, ‘Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God. You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over Jacob’s descendants forever; his kingdom will never end.’

‘How will this be,’ Mary asked the angel, ‘since I am a virgin?’

The angel answered, ‘The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be unable to conceive is in her sixth month. For no word from God will ever fail.’

‘I am the Lord’s servant,’ Mary answered. ‘May your word to me be fulfilled.’ Then the angel left her.”

Luke 1:26-38 (NLT)

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As the opening bars of the song fill my car, I bristle and make a face at the radio, hitting my turn signal with more force than is necessary. “Mary did you know…” the song asks, as it does too many times, sung by a guy who sounds like he’s over-doing the vocal theatrics. I hit the button to turn the radio off. I’d rather listen to silence. I shake my head, as though that action could clear my brain of the words.

Did you know your baby boy is Lord of all creation?
Did you know he has walked where angels trod?
Did you know he will deliver you?
Mary did you know?
It asks, over and over and over again.

She knew, I think, fiercely. I think Mary knew more than anyone.

These lyrics annoy me. The Bible plainly tells us she did know. The angel Gabriel in those verses above says specifically that he “will be born holy”, that he “will be called the Son of God”.

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It was she, after all, no more than a teenager, whom an angel appeared to. No one asked her father or her betrothed for their (male) permission. Gabriel came directly to her. He told her the details - quite clearly - and waited for her response.

In The Message version of this story, Mary responds to Gabriel by saying, “Yes, I see it all now.” It’s impossible to know if she really responded in such a way. I’d like to think she did.

I don’t know how anyone can read those verses and then dare to ask if she knew. It sounds so condescending. (“Mary did you know?” “I don’t know, Clay Aiken, did you?”) I’m tired of having Mary’s intelligence questioned.

Is it any surprise these lyrics were written by a man?

She knew enough to be the one who prompted Jesus’ first miracle. At a wedding, to turn water into wine, of all things. (I could make a tired joke about moms needing wine here, but I’ll restrain myself.)

Even after Jesus refused her, she ignored him like only a mother can. “Do whatever he tells you,” she says to the servants in response to his protest. This interaction reminds me of tiffs with my own children. (“But mo-om I don’t want to take a shower.” “Yup. Take off your clothes and get in.”)

And it was Mary again who was there along with the other women on the day of Jesus’ death. She was there to bear witness to what was unfolding just as Gabriel had told her it would.

Maybe then, through tears, she said once more, “Yes, I see it all now.”

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To give the song some credit, there’s no way Mary could work out all of the details.

Those verses in Luke tell us she was “greatly troubled” by what the angel says. I’m sure she was bothered on many levels: that she was unwed and pregnant chief among them. As her baby, this Son of God called Jesus, grew older, I’m sure she turned Gabriel’s words in her brain over and over again.

In Luke’s second chapter, Mary brings Jesus to be dedicated at the temple in Jerusalem, where she meets a devout man called Simeon. He tells her, “This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too.”

Luke doesn’t tell us Mary’s reaction. I would imagine Simeon’s words greatly troubled her, too.

As a mother, there is plenty enough to puzzle out. Will this baby ever sleep? Is this the right kind of diaper/swaddle/pacifier? Will they eat broccoli or carrots today? Is this school the right fit? If I feed them organic macaroni and cheese does that count as health food for today? Why are they sick/crying/moody? Will this season ever end?

There’s enough to think about without being told you’ve given birth to the Savior of the world. And surely she couldn’t know that this babe lying in a manger and wrapped in swaddling clothes would one day meet his end on a Roman cross.

Luke chapter two is also when the shepherds enter the Christmas story. They were told, by a heavenly host of angels, that a Savior was born, that he is the Messiah, the Lord. They rush to Bethlehem to find him and spread the word to everyone about what they’ve been told. It says after the shepherds came that “Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart”. It’s one of my favorite uses of language in the entire Bible. I like to think she treasured things up in her heart and pondered them often. How else could she survive parenting a boy she’d been told was the actual Son of God?

I think of one of the only stories in the Bible about Jesus’ youth. When he disappears at the age of 12 - when he stays in Jerusalem yet his parents travel on and they can’t find him for days - did Mary wonder then if this was it? Did she remember Simeon’s words and was a sword piercing her own soul then as she frantically searched for her oldest son? What was her heart pondering then?

After they find him teaching in the temple, after Jesus tells his earthly parents that of course he was in his Father’s house, the Bible tells us plainly they didn’t understand what he was saying to them then. But it also says, after they find him and return home, that once again Mary treasured these things in her heart.

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Still, the radio and even our own churches persist in asking Mary if she knew. Can you imagine such a song being written about a man in the Bible? Asking if Abraham knew what it meant for him to be a father of nations or if the disciples knew what they were doing in giving up their lives to follow Jesus? How dare we sing this to celebrate the birth of Jesus - his birth which was brought forth by the very human pain and suffering of Mary.

Mary herself gave us a far greater song to sing during the Christmas season. It’s almost an insult that a pop ballad questioning her understanding has climbed the charts when her own beautiful words, the Magnificat, are right there for us in Luke, not long after an angel has told her the most astounding news. It reads, in part:

“From now on all generations will call me blessed,
for the Mighty One has done great things for me—
holy is his name.

His mercy extends to those who fear him,
from generation to generation.

He has performed mighty deeds with his arm;
he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts.

He has brought down rulers from their thrones
but has lifted up the humble.

He has filled the hungry with good things
but has sent the rich away empty.”

What if we sang those verses on Christmas Eve, verses not only praising Mary but also of revolution. It’s an anthem that’s a testament to her own place in the world as well as the role her son will play in it.

Mary was a human woman who was blessed by angels, who saw the entirety of Jesus’ life play out, who sang a song both of triumph and of social transformation while she carried that child in her womb. She was a mother who nursed and wiped tears and comforted and grew frustrated and treasured things up in her heart.

I want those words to fill my car - words of liberation and redemption. Words sung by a woman claiming her own life story.

The Advent That Wasn't

Advent was a big part of my church tradition growing up. Lighting the candles in the Advent wreath each week to celebrate one of the shortest seasons of the liturgical year, the pinks and the purples of the candles and the priest’s robes a funny contrast to the Christmas-y reds and greens everywhere else.

Advent disappeared as I grew into my high school and college years, as I left that traditional church setting for a different one. Nobody talked about Advent anymore. I realized that no one talked much about Lent or the days in Holy Week either. The liturgical vocabulary more or less disappeared from my life.

Until I had children.

A couple years ago, I was listening to a podcast where the hosts discussed their plans to celebrate Advent with their small children that year. They had all sorts of plans, from daily Bible studies to activity books to baking treats to tie right in with the Advent season. It caught me off-guard.

Because it was October.

Yeesh, I thought, Am I supposed to be thinking about this already? Do I need to start an Advent tradition with my two two-year olds and baby? Am I already failing?

That year came and went. We didn’t do anything for Advent. Same with last year. And, admittedly, this one as well.

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I’m doing an Advent study with some friends this year. I’ve missed more days than I’ve kept up with. Still, it feels like a step forward. Most years it gets to the second week of December before I realize it’s Advent and I probably should have started on something a solid week and a half ago.

It’s not for a lack of caring about the season. The Christmastime is one of my favorite parts of the year, for the magic of twinkling lights, snow, and Santa just as much as the miracle in a manger we are all waiting for. And I can’t say it’s because I’m too busy in this season to stop and think about Advent. Outside the chaos of life with three small children, that is. Truly, I don’t feel we’re over-booked with Christmas activities or events, my gift list is usually under control by the beginning of December.

No, I think it’s because Advent often feels like just one more thing to DO, in a season where I would love to just sit back and BE.

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I read a post on the other day along these same lines, about the trendiness of Advent these days. It was comforting and spoke so strongly to my own heart.

Because the most important thing this Advent isn’t that we do a daily Advent-related activity.

It’s that the kids have been playing with their Nativity set and we’ve talked over and over the familiar story with them. (Playful embellishments encouraged.)

It’s that we’ve baked more than our fair share of Christmas cookies. It’s that we’ve delivered them to our neighbors.

It’s that we set up the tree and I let them hang ornaments wherever they dang well pleased. (Even if I re-arranged it all later so there were ornaments ABOVE the four-foot line.)

It’s that we’ve spent time watching Christmas shows together, all piled on the couch with blankets and snuggles.

It’s that they add a new sticker ornament first thing every morning to the paper Christmas trees taped to their doors to help them count the days until Jesus is born. And, yes, also the days until Santa comes.

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There’s another tug in my brain, (as happens with other traditions or the lack of), that says, It’s too late! You didn’t start an Advent tradition from their very first Christmas so you missed it! It’s too late!

That thought is, of course, utter bullshit.

The truth is I still have very young children, who, for the most part, won’t remember these early Christmases. The truth is I don’t remember most of my early Christmases, outside of a few moments here and there. The truth is it’s not now or never. We wake each morning to new mercies, new chances. And each year and every season as well.

There’s always next year. Or the year after that. Or maybe, never at all. Maybe we’ll just work on baking more cookies and sitting back to be still in this season of magic and waiting.

Life Lately (Christmas Edition)

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We kicked off our Christmas weekend with a cookie decorating party on Friday night. Actually, we kicked it off the day before as Caden and Brooklyn helped me mix and cut and bake something like four dozen+ cookies for all that decorating. What they lack in patience ("Get off the counter!" was basically my refrain for a good 24 hours or so) they more than made up for in enthusiasm, judging by the amount of flour on their clothes, sprinkles on the floor, and the fact that it was Brooklyn who decorated the better part of 50 Christmas cookies all by herself.

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As we drove home on Saturday from the Christmas church service Brooklyn pointed to the sky at the light of an airplane. "Look!" she said, "It's Rudolph leading Santa's sleigh!" 

"It is?" I asked, "But Christmas Eve is tomorrow night!"

"Yup," she agreed, "but they're out there." and her eyes sparkled as they continued to search the sky for magic.

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We hosted again on Christmas Eve. Some of my family, eleven of us, just small. 

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Note to self: some of the lights near the top of the tree are not working. They did, and then they didn't, and then they did again, and now they decidedly do not. I know you're not going to do anything about it this year, but when you unpack the tree next year and plug it in and complain about the lights not working don't say I didn't warn you.

Attempts at a family picture. We...tried. We really, really tried. 

The benefit to hosting is really that we put the kids to bed upstairs and still get to enjoy things like conversation with other adults, another round of party food, one more cocktail and, yes, our Christmas pajamas. 

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We might still be partying but we're going to be comfy, dangit. 

And then we get to clean up and do the Santa thing, collapse and call it a night.

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...Until approximately 6:07 the following morning.

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You better believe the first thing I did after taking that picture was make sure the coffee pot got started. 

Caden crept down the stairs ahead of the rest of us, and keeps talking about how he peeked through the railing, "Just like this, mommy," and "Saw all the presents down there and you guys didn't know the presents were there but I did."

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If you ask him what his favorite present is, he'll tell you it's his rocket ship. He's been talking it up since October when the Lakeshore Learning catalog made its way to our house with said rocket ship emblazoned on the cover, and it's been on his mind ever since.

"Mommy," he told me as we drove home from our celebrations on Christmas Day, "I only told Santa I wanted a rocket ship. I didn't say I wanted two people and a car with it but Santa knew mommy. He knew I wanted those things, too." 

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Now it's December 26th. Brooklyn cried a little and got so sad last night as I put her to bed. 

"I don't want to go to bed. Then it won't be Christmas anymore and I like Christmas," she pouted. There really is no other word for it. Her lip stuck out so far and her eyes were so, so sad. I told her that she had her birthday in a couple of months to look forward to and new toys to play with in the meantime but she was adamant as I tucked her in that she still wanted it to be Christmas. 

Me? I look forward to the 26th just as much as the rest of it. Tyson takes the day off work, we hang out, and I achieved the goal I set out to accomplish today: to not change out of my Christmas pajamas. I'm still wearing them as I type this. #winning

The Day After Christmas is just as much of a holiday to me, filled with new toys and TV, comfy clothes, comfort food, and the signs of the holiday season still all around.

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We have just a week of break before diving back into preschool and the regular routine on the 2nd. Though there are still a few fun things to look forward to in the next couple weeks: a Wild hockey game with my family, a visit to some local breweries with my cousin, New Year's Eve. (I mean, not that we have any plans since we're like 80 and have kids. Whatever.)

I'm going to soak up the remnants of the holiday season for the next week or so, and probably go stir-crazy with the kids by Thursday (hello sub-zero windchills). Cheers!

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Post (Super Mega Ultimate Christmas) Weekend


I love scrolling through Instagram and Facebook and seeing everyone's festive Christmas pictures and activities.  Presents and kids and food and fancy clothes and twinkling lights and cookies and bows and sooooo much glitter and new toys, trips, and surprises.  It brings out both the designer and the nesting side of me, seeing everyone's decorations and Christmas outfits and activities and edibles and  then (maayyyybeee) silently critiquing or coveting other people's decor, fashion, and food choices.  Mostly coveting the food choices, let's be honest here.


Knowing, of course, that behind it all are parents and people who are sleep-deprived, who actually feel absolutely out of ideas and energy, and have spent way too much time just trying to find the time to get everything done, with real relationships and family to navigate, love on, and/or avoid.  So we chug some more coffee, close up the social media and work on getting our own presents and houses ready and cozy for our families, and maybe even call it GOOD E-FREAKING-NOUGH and take a little break before the chaos to put our feet up and drink a glass of wine or hot chocolate by the fire.  

And hey, some of our pictures look dang good. 


Or even downright delicious.  A good cookie plate might be one of the most beautiful sights of the holidays.  Chewy gingersnaps, M&M pretzel melts, caramels, and festive chocolate bark.  (Easiest "recipe" ever.  Melt some good dark chocolate bars down (30 second increments in the microwave if you want to make it even easier, and stir, stir, stir between each one.)  Pour chocolate out onto a baking tray lined with parchment paper and spread in a thin layer that is roughly the same thickness throughout.  Sprinkle liberally with toppings of your choice.  I used cranberries, pumpkin seeds, and a healthy dose of sea salt. Refrigerate the entire tray until chocolate is set and then break it all up into small pieces. Voila!  Ridiculously easy homemade chocolate bark.)





(It admittedly makes me a little emotional to see beautifully wrapped gifts torn to pieces.  #realdesignerproblems)


Caden and Brooklyn absolutely lost their freaking MINDS on Christmas Eve when my parents showed up for our small family celebration.  Brooklyn was SHRIEKING with delight as they ran back and forth from the door to the tree, helping to haul presents inside.  "Presents!  Presents!  Presents!!!"  

As you can see, there were absolutely no presents.


(Professional present inspector.)





(Professional tag-ripper-offer.)


(One making weird faces.  One twirling.  One completely oblivious.  We're going to call it a success.)


(Two destroying.  One still oblivious.  Also a success.)


Not really pictured: a whirlwind of present opening, followed by...


Jammies.  Christmas jammies.  

"Dear Santa, Define 'good'."  If there is a more appropriate set of Christmas pajamas for these three I'm not sure what it is.  The older two look a little guilty just standing there.  ;)


(Fun fact: on Christmas Eve, usually later in the evening, I end up decorating a bucket for one lucky recipient the next day.  A bucket?  Yes, seriously, a bucket.  We draw names on my mom's side of the family and one year my dad drew a name and they needed a bucket, apparently? for some reason? and my dad took the idea and RAN with it and now whichever name he draws each year receives a bucket.  A themed bucket.  One year it was bedazzled with rhinestones for my fashionable cousin (who literally took it to the bar with her as a "purse" on New Year's Eve), another year we stepped our production up a notch and used COLORED sharpies instead of just black ones.  And there's a letter with it and everything with the bucket company's name and instructions for your bucket and things to do with your bucket (i.e. take your bucket for a walk, portable bathroom, as a companion at the bar which apparently my cousin ACTUALLY DID) and I don't even know anymore but it is seriously a family tradition around here.  Ten years strong.  If that's not a tradition I don't know what is.  It's like not even weird to us anymore except that now I'm typing this out and it makes NO SENSE except really, it totally does.  People, THIS is why I have a design degree.)





One last round of playing with their new goodies before a reading of The Night Before Christmas...


...and then it was off to bed.  

Which sounds so simple, but a peek behind the scenes would have revealed a little baby who has had issues falling/staying asleep lately (he's stopped sucking those middle two fingers *sob* so now apparently has no other way to sooth himself now) and a couple of bigger kids whose frequent and multiple bed escapes may have elicited a threat of "if you don't stay in your beds I'm going to tell Santa not to come".  And apparently it worked, because...


...he came.


(The anticipation.)


It was hard to tear them away from the dollhouse to open any other presents.  Which was slightly unfortunate, as I had wrapped up the dollhouse people as a separate gift and after making his initial inspection of all things dollhouse Caden realized that "there no people! I need people!" and ran off to the playroom to find...I don't know.  Lego people, maybe?  And it was all we could do to get him to come back to the Christmas tree to unwrap another present because "maybe Santa left you the people as a separate present why don't you try unwrapping THIS VERY SPECIFIC ONE here and let's see".  (Spoiler alert: it totally was the dollhouse people.)  Then Brooklyn opened up the set of pets for the dollhouse and was literally SHAKING with excitement.  (Spoiler alert again: we've already lost the cat and the rabbit.  Looked high and low and in every conceivable nook and cranny.  #reallifewithtoddlers)  (UPDATE: we found them IN THE BRANCHES of the Christmas tree.  Of course.)


(Gifts unwrapped.  Aka daddy's naptime.)


I am so thrilled with this dollhouse.  It's big enough for two to play with, came with most of the sets of furniture, and is beautiful.  Even with only a girl, I would prefer a gender-neutral house  anyway (Just...enough with the pink and sparkles already.  I don't need bedazzled shingles.), and this one has so many great features.



(Enjoying his first Christmas.)


The only thing Caden requested for Christmas was a doctors kit.  I'm happy to report that Santa came through on that one.


(Be still my heart.  Gorgeous clothes and new dollhouses, curly hair and twinkle lights nearby are what Christmas is all about.)




Tyson more or less has most of this week off now.  It used to be such a letdown - could anything be more disappointing to a child than the day after Christmas? - but now it's one of my favorite times of year. The wind is literally howling outside (hello, wind advisory) some snowflakes are swirling, and we are settling into a week of pajamas, comfort food, cozy blankets, new toys, and family time.  I mean, we'll be going slightly stir-crazy by the end of the week, but hey. 



Sometimes that's okay.




Advent. It's a Thing.

Advent is a thing.

I mean, I know it's a thing. I grew up in the Catholic church for goodness sakes - I KNOW Advent. If there's one thing the Catholic church does well, it's tradition. (Cue opening song to Fiddler on the Roof...) The candles, the prayers, the anticipation.  It's a beautiful thing.

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But suddenly it's an INTERNET thing. At least the corners of the internet that I frequent.The Pinterest-y, mom blog, "489 Ways to Celebrate Advent With Your Children!!!!!!1!!"- type corners. And maybe there aren't actually articles with 489 ways to celebrate Advent, but when everyone is posting up all the things they are doing during the season, it sure seems like it. I think by now we're all familiar with social media overload. It's kind of exhausting to think about. Especially when December kind of creeps up on you. I mean, I knew it was coming - it was just November and all - but November seemed like a quick march right up to Thanksgiving, (and travel, in our case), and so here we are, thrust into Advent with no particular plans. No daily calendar, no hidden chocolates or candies or puzzles for each day. Are you covering your mouth in horror?  Because admitting that almost seems like the ultimate #momfail these days.

Let's be honest, parenting small children is difficult enough without adding HOLIDAYS to the mix. The everyday is filled with too many things to do in not enough time without worrying about adding holiday magic in for good measure.

Thankfully, the kids are pretty good about adding the magic themselves.

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Grabbing Mary and a sheep and singing "Mary Had a Little Lamb"? Magical. And, yup, hilarious.

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Being blessed to celebrate another first Christmas?  Definitely magic.

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Listening to Caden read me the Christmas story?  Which involves this SINGLE page.  And goes like  this: "And they say 'hi Jesus!' and they all singing the sheep and the flying and ev-yone happy the end".  Every time.  Magic.

So, with three kids under three, I've committed to doing exactly four things this year to celebrate Advent and lead up to Christmas. (And by now you should have realized...ain't no elves up on my shelves.  Props if you can pull that off, but as for me and my house? NO thank you.)

     1. Read the Christmas story each day. This one is half falling apart from all the love we've given it over the past couple of years. It has the best rhymes.

     2. Play with the nativity set each day.  The one shown above in the first photos was one we'd been given for the kids.  Let's just say that while the figures were kid-friendly in size, they were NOT kid-friendly in material.  A couple of broken wise men's crowns and half a shepherd later, we gave them this one as an early Christmas present.  We gave it to them on the 1st, and it has been THE MOST played with toy by far in the few days since then.

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And since it's, y'know, made for kids, even Nolan can get in on the action.

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"Sing me the SONG, mommy!"  Brooklyn says, each and every time she wants me to act out the Christmas story with the figures. We've been over it many, many times. Caden loves to fly the angel around, especially in scenes when the angel has KEY LINES, such as "Hey btw you're totes gonna give birth to God's son", and laughs hysterically as he zooms away. Brooklyn carries Baby Jesus and "his mommy" around all over the house. And Nolan chews on everything. It's got something for everyone!

It's also great because Caden and Brooklyn are in prime play-pretend mode. So far this morning Mary, a wise man, and the camel have gone on an adventure to "daddy's store" (aka Lowe's). "Do you have your money?"  "Buckle up!" (Apparently this camel has advanced safety features.)  "It's far, far away." 

     3. Sing Christmas songs.  Hymns.  We're loving the Christmas albums from Mercy MeBrandon Heath , and Casting Crowns.

     4. And, of course, we made a paper chain.

(Surprisingly good paper-chain makers.)

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They rip off one link each night.  We alternate.  Brooklyn gets the red ones, Caden gets the green ones, because everything is all "Green my favorite.  I love green, mommy." lately.

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Five days down. Twenty more to go.

We're not going to do everything this year. Or any year, really. But we can do some things.  And this isn't all that we'll do. We made some Christmas cookies over the weekend.  I can assure you that we'll make many more before the season is up. We'll play in the snow, read some Christmas stories, attend some parties. But are we going to cram in every community event, every Santa visit, every single holiday gathering we're invited to? Nope. And I'm fine with that.  

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We're having fun right here.