On the Days When Nothing Gets Done
The other night, after the twins were in bed, I complained to Tyson that "I'm completely exhausted and I got nothing done today!" (To his everlasting credit, when he asked what it was that I wanted to accomplish, and I moaned that the bathrooms weren't clean, he stared at me and replied, "who cares?")
I might be a little over three weeks postpartum, but my type-A personality is revving right back into overdrive, with to-do lists on paper and in my head outlining that I want to accomplish this, and this, and THIS today.
Of course, with two toddlers and a newborn, this and this and THIS are rarely my reality these days. (Heck, even with just the two toddlers, they were rarely my reality before.) These to-do lists are a compilation of all the other things...rooms that need to be cleaned, items to be organized, miscellaneous tasks to accomplish. I don't write down the obvious things; the dishes and the tidying and the laundry...the general duties that make our household function. Because they aren't anything special, anything "extra", they don't even make it to the to-do list. Why bother, when they can never be "crossed off"? Yet these daily chores are important things. Tasks that, because I do them every. single. day., often don't feel like much.
It can be so difficult for me to take a step back, and realize what I do accomplish, even on the days when my mental and physical to-do lists remain untouched. Let's be honest: it can be hard to see what's so noteworthy about a load of laundry.
That day, the day when I got "nothing" done, I actually forced myself to sit down that night before I went to bed and make a list of what I succeeded in doing that day. This is what my "nothing" looked like:
- made a healthy dinner and healthy(ish) lunch for my family, plus snacks
- cleaned up from those meals and snacks
- nursed - quite literally nourished - my newborn 12 times adding up to over two hours
- made time to play and read books with my two toddlers
- soothed and rocked the baby to sleep several times
- changed (and changed, and changed again) three sets of diapers
- found time to feed and rest myself...especially important as a nursing mom (and one still recovering from birth!)
- tidied up the endless mess of toys, toys, and more toys
Even on the days we accomplish "nothing", we are doing work that matters, mamas. It might be exhausting, it can seem mundane, it may feel unimportant, but it is so essential when we successfully run our own little households. These everyday tasks seem so inconsequential, but just imagine the state of our homes and the mindset of those in it if they were left undone. We might be able to deal with the dirty bathrooms for a time, but who else is going to care for my children's essential needs like I do? We are caring for little bodies - little souls - that can't quite take care of themselves. We're teaching, guiding, and playing, feeding and bathing even the tiniest members of our families.
Throw out the mental to-do list. Chances are, on one of "those" days where the list doesn't even come close to being touched, our arms and hearts are full, and we're accomplishing things - BIG things to these little people - anyway.
Post Weekend
Q: What do you do on the weekend when you live in Minnesota, and experience 70-degree weather in early March?
A: SPEND THE WHOLE DANG DAY OUTSIDE.
The first few days outside after being cooped up for so long...it's like a brand-new adventure for these little guys. Everything is new again, even our own backyard. After a few days of spending time outside, they got more and more brave, at first preferring to stay near me and on the path, but then venturing further and further, not needing or even wanting me nearby, and venturing off to do some exploring.
Even Nolan seemed to enjoy the fresh air, and napped like a dream after being all snuggled up in the carrier.
Then there's this kid, who watches whatever the 5, 6, 7-year olds do on the playground, shrugs his newly-turned-two-year old shoulders, and says, "Hey, I can do that."
Not pictured: the three-foot drop to the ground. Or the "ladder" with VERY BIG, MUCH LARGER THAN CADEN-SIZED OPENINGS between the rungs that he managed to climb up about five feet off the ground on before anyone spotted him. No fear. That's okay, I've got enough fear for both of us as my mama heart starts beating about four times as fast.
In case you were wondering how cool they thought they were with their sunglasses...
...yeah. They thought they owned the neighborhood.
Especially when they got to show their cousin around. Caden and Brooklyn will be your guides; they know where all the happening playgrounds are at.
If you follow me on Facebook, you may know that we made a mad dash out of the house on Sunday before 8:40 am to make it to church at 9:00, only to arrive to find out that it was cancelled due to a power outage. Tensions were running a bit high as we turned around in the parking lot, with two energetic toddlers and an infant who decided that THIS was the time to start wailing in the backseat. I'll leave you attempt to calculate the effort that was involved to get two 2-year olds, an infant, myself, (Who decided at the last minute that Nolan and I would be attending church, as well. Love this house, but man am I sick of looking at these walls.), and Tyson fed, clothed appropriately, and out the door by that ungodly hour. On daylight savings weekend, for crying out loud. And then we were denied our outing, AND a free hour of childcare for the older two. Won't somebody please think of the children?!?
We all came home, collapsed, and gave in to the gods of technology, instead.
Two Years Ago
This popped up in my Facebook newsfeed this morning:
No, it's not Nolan. It's a two-years-ago Brooklyn.
Seeing this photo, it really hit me that I was in this exact same spot two years ago, almost to the day, (albeit with two babies instead of one), and I hadn't even realized how much time had passed. Before Nolan was born, if you would have asked me, I would have been sure that Brooklyn's hands were still the same size you see here. That she still fit in my arms and in that tiny blanket and that teeny onesie in just the same way.
It would have never occurred to me two years ago when I started on this motherhood journey that we'd be blessed with three kids in a span of two years and two days.
I can't believe that little face you see here was looking up at me, hanging on my every word just two years ago. Now I look down and rock another baby in my arms, while the sweet baby in this photo - who was that size ONLY YESTERDAY - runs laps around the house with her "big" brother.
There's no grand conclusion to all of this other than to say that this motherhood gig? It gets you with all the feels, every time. My mind can't quite wrap itself around these two toddlers, gazing at their baby brother, with me reminding them to use "nice touches" because they are suddenly HUGE, when they themselves were that size just days - no, hours - ago. Looking at these three little people and wondering, how did we get here? Didn't we become parents only yesterday?
But here we are. And despite missing, at least a little bit, the newborn in that first picture...it's a pretty good place to be.
The First Week Home
Tyson has the week off, which, crazy as it might sound, makes me feel like I have the week off, too (uh...maternity leave, if you will). Without the physical stamina, not to mention the go-ahead to tackle such important life skills as being able to drive and use the stairs post c-section, Tyson is more or less in charge of the twins (whom we've already re-christened "the tornadoes"). This means I get a lot of rest and baby time. Seriously, I don't think I realized how wild Caden and Brooklyn were until we added Williams Baby 3.0 to our lives. Not excessively wild, just regular 2-year old we-have-boundless-amounts-of-energy-and-curiosity-with-no-off-or-lower-volume-button-wild.
My quiet rest time lately has been interspersed with wild bursts of energy - these toddlers who are very interested in this new little brother: "Baby, baby, baby!". Saying "Nolan" hasn't quite caught on yet, and so it's mostly "baby". Or "No-no", if we remind them to say Nolan. With Caden and Brooklyn calling each other "Nay-nay", we now have two Nay-nays and a No-no. I'll take it.
A little over a week in, and so far...
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It's been a lot of snuggles with this little guy.
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It's making chocolate chip M&M cookies because aunties, uncles, and grandmas are around.
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It's silly newborn faces during bath time.
And being so content and snuggly afterwards that we just lounged around in nothing but a towel for quite awhile.
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It's capturing spontaneous moments like this with my four favorite people,
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It's - despite a carefully designed nursery - everything baby taking over our master bedroom, anyway.
Bassinet, glider, footstool, burp cloths, hospital cup, stuffed animals, ever-present Boppy and all.
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Including that baby himself.
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It's sharing our Daniel Tiger toys with this new baby brother.
If that's not sibling love around here, then I don't know what is.
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It's showing baby brother "his" balloon ("Baby boon!"). Though since we've had several wild run-around-the-house sessions since bringing it home ("boon fly!"), I have the sneaking suspicion that the tornadoes picked it out more for themselves than for little bro.
+++++
It's the sight of two older siblings peeking into the bassinet over and over and over again ("Hi baby!"), just to check that he's still there.
It's a total lack of older-sibling jealousy. Whenever they hear Nolan cry, Caden and Brooklyn drop whatever they are doing and immediately let me know with a "Mommy, baby sad!" or "Mommy, baby cry!" or even just, "Mommy...baby! Mommy...baby!" until I scoop Nolan into my arms. "Rock", Brooklyn always commands, demonstrating for me herself, hugging an imaginary baby and swaying from side to side.
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It's breaking all the rules for snacks and baby cuddles in mommy and daddy's bed.
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It's - in the absence of two-year old toddler duties - the quietest dishwasher unloading session I can remember in a looooooonnnngggg time.
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It's Brooklyn saying, "Bess ooo, bess ooo baby!" every single time Nolan sneezes, coughs, gurgles, or makes any of a hundred other miscellaneous newborn sounds.
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It's the first attempt at a "selfie" ("groupie"?) since becoming a family of five.
And the realization that while my arms are nearly always full...they just aren't quite long enough to fit all of us in the frame anymore. And that is fine by me.