Life Lately

I made a Dutch baby for breakfast this weekend. Two out of three kids tried bites and then scrambled for cereal instead. (The remaining child added copious amounts of powdered sugar for it to be deemed edible.) We played board games and ate Thai food and watched TV under soft blankets. We played Wordle. The kids went from laughing together to fighting in 3.2 seconds flat. Yesterday we went to the nearby nature center and rejoiced in the warmth of temperatures over 32-degrees. The sun warmed our cheeks and the kids discarded their jackets and we remembered what it was like to enjoy the outdoors when the wind doesn’t take our breath away.

I listened to The Daily this morning and heard a Ukrainian woman talk about how it was spring there, too, how the sun was out and the birds were singing (Did I mention the birds who sang us to the bus stop this morning?) and she just wanted to enjoy spring and her peaceful life. I felt the parallels in my bones, both of us trying to rejoice in the promise of spring but only one of us consumed by the reality of war in our streets. That we’re different only by virtue of birth, nothing more.

I half-laugh at the warning at the beginning of The Daily episode, “This episode contains strong language.” As if there is any other kind of language for war.

After two years of pandemic, after George Floyd, after January 6th, after Afghanistan, you’d think we’d have learned to live with tragedy. It feels impossible, for the umpteenth time in the past however many years, to hold all of these tensions.

I bought iced coffee this morning on my way to pick up my groceries. I might balk at the increase in prices and yet I can still afford to fill my van with food to feed my family and pay a stupid amount of money for drive-through coffee. Driving home in safety is a given.

And I drove home, the sun shining down bright on another warm, hopeful spring-is-coming sort of day. I try to hold the parallels in my brain. I fling prayers that mostly resemble Anne Lamott’s Help, Thanks, Wow at the sky because I don’t know what else to do. Don’t know how else to hold this tension and bear it.

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Thing I’m Doing

I hate when my “thing” is all “throw money at a problem” and yet that’s really all I have the ability to do. NPR has a roundup of resources that are trustworthy and on the ground in Ukraine should you feel so moved and able to donate.

The other thing I’m doing is holding space for the stories. I can stand in one teeny-tiny, baby iota measure of solidarity with Ukraine by listening to their stories. I have again found The Daily to be a good resource for this.

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Around the Internet

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Eating

  • This was the recipe I used for the Dutch baby. Maybe your kids will appreciate it more than mine.

  • I’m planning to make patty melts this weekend and already looking forward to it. I use this recipe and it is a meaty, cheesy, umami perfection.

  • I had a horrible cold last week which left me with a slight sore throat so I started making vanilla malts with my immersion blender. I used roughly 1 cup milk + 4 generous scoops vanilla ice cream + 4-5 Tbsp. malt powder + a teeny dash of vanilla and it was DELICIOUS. Tyson prefers chocolate so I add 1 Tbsp. cocoa powder for him.

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Fun Things

  • The kids received this version of Ticket to Ride for Christmas. We fell in love with it so I gave what Caden calls “the parent version” to Tyson for Valentine’s Day. I know we’re late to the game (Pun not intended. Ha!) but everyone is right: it’s the best. Cue all of the expansion packs in our future.

  • I already raved about this fleece-lined jumpsuit on Instagram, but here it is again. I promise you need this in your life.

  • We hit up both the Mall of America and Great Wolf Lodge last week to celebrate the kids’ birthdays and it felt like one of the most “normal” things we’ve done in a very long time. Looking for more normal in the very near future.

If Parents Wrote the Headlines

I don’t want to brush aside the importance of following along with the actual news. I typically start my day with a glance at the headlines and a podcast or two—but does anyone else feel like their own day could warrant a headline or two? What if parents wrote the headlines? Really, family life covers all the basic news sections and storylines: we’ve got warring factions (aka siblings), drama (miscellaneous tantrums), business (balancing work and childcare), an arts and culture section (dominated by paper and crayons), food and recipes (staring at the pantry at 5 pm), and even romance (on occasion).

Here are some stories that might make the news if parents wrote the headlines:

Missing Mitten Rocks Morning

The mudroom was overturned this morning as a search was conducted for a missing mitten. “It looks blue and black just like the other one, except the thumb is on the other side,” said a boy familiar with the item. After searching through several backpacks, shelves, and the entirety of the floor, it was eventually found in the storage bin, exactly where it was supposed to be. While the children involved made it to the bus on time, their mother was left to deal with the resulting chaos of the mudroom on her own.

Coffee Shortage Leaves Mom in Crisis

A local mom opened her pantry today to discover she was out of coffee beans. “I don’t know how this happened,” she said, sounding close to tears, “I was just at Target yesterday.” Sources close to the family report that it had been her third trip to the popular big box department store chain this week alone. She was seen again this morning at her local Target, where despite purchasing two pounds of coffee beans, she also left the store with an iced coffee with oat milk from the in-store Starbucks.

Brothers: The Worst Ever

Our special 7-year-old correspondent reports that “brothers are the worst ever” after they “ruined” her day by not listening while playing a game and also taking six crayons. This is despite the fact that other reports suggest a bin filled with hundreds of crayons sitting next to her and that the game was made up with ill-defined rules. Despite those facts, our 7-year-old correspondent advises you to use caution when interacting with someone who could, in fact, be a brother.

Read more parental headlines over on Twin Cities Mom Collective!

Life Lately

Even though I thought we were done with the parental-preference phase of things (full of toddler-isms such as “Daddy do!” No! Only Mommy!”), the kids have been back to a big mommy-only phase. They want me to help them with everything from brushing their teeth (me, only me) to playing with them to doing everything involved with their food. It’s not quite so rigid as maybe when they were two. Tyson can put them to bed, for example, and it’s not (usually) the end of the world. They no longer turn into screaming, sobbing puddles on the floor due to the presence of one parent instead of another. Still: the kids want mommy and mommy only. I’m sure this is somehow related to the past two years of *gestures* everything, but heck if I can figure it out.
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It was a cold month here in Minnesota. That sentence might sound redundant, so maybe what I should say is that it was a particularly cold month. We had more subzero January days than not, more days where the windchill had a negative sign in front of it than a positive one. I rather like the cozy months, but even I will admit it can get wearing after a while, when the kids can’t even be outside for recess. Instead of dwelling on the cold, I’ll list the things that saved our sanity this month, which include Wordle, Bluey, hot chocolate, wearing sweatsuits on repeat, family games, and making all the soups, stews and pastas. (Seriously, whoever decided that January was a great month to market You Should Begin All the Diets did not live in Minnesota.)
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I learned, again, that if we just sit down and talk to the kids, they’re…really good. We had a Family Meeting over the weekend to remind them of our morning rules: 1. No coming out of your room until 6:30 and 2. Play quietly until Mommy and Daddy are out of bed. Being blessed with Morning Kids™ who are frequently awake before 6:00, we’d fallen into a cycle where Tyson and I were woken up by what sounded like an entire Marvel movie breaking out in the hallway or kids barging in with a barrage of questions in our still-dark room. Though the final straw was Nolan’s Saturday morning 4:45 call for help because he “couldn’t reach” his water bottle and he “didn’t want to get up,” after which neither Tyson nor I fell back asleep. But after a single family meeting Saturday night to discuss, we’ve had two perfect back-to-back mornings (fingers crossed, throws salt over shoulder, steps over all sidewalk cracks, makes sign of the cross) which leaves me wondering why we didn’t just talk to them sooner.
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If there are any other words to sum up the month for parents, it seems to be these lyrics from Encanto: “...see if she can handle every family burden/Watch as she buckles and bends but never breaks/No mistakes just/Pressure like a grip, grip, grip and it won’t let go, woah/Pressure like a tick, tick, tick ‘til it’s ready to blow/…Who I am if I don’t have what it takes?/No mistakes/Just pressure.” And not just because those lyrics are living on repeat in all of our brains right now. (Love you, LMM, but could you make some songs that just aren’t quite as catchy?) Still, we made it through January. I think I spy hope ahead, in the form of warmer temperatures, the end of distance learning (for those who were back in that hellscape), and quieter mornings.

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Thing I’m Doing

Inspired by last Tuesday’s outside of politics conversation on Pantsuit Politics, I thought I’d share how I’m involved at the kid's’ school. Every Thursday afternoon, I volunteer in the workroom for about 2-4 hours where I run copies, put together projects (soooo many Kindergarten projects), and other classroom organization-type things for whoever needs it. I don’t know why I don’t talk about it much—I did this when Caden and Brooklyn started Kindergarten (though in-school volunteers were on pause for most of the pandemic)—but it’s a pretty big anchor in my week. I’ve also helped in the cafeteria and am signed up to staff the book fair in a few weeks. It’s a small thing for me to do yet the gratitude from the staff is enormous.

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Around the Internet

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Eating

With those subzero temps, I’ve been making alllllllllll the comfort foods:

  • I’ve made this soup three times in the past two months. I recommend adding an extra bell pepper and cooking the tortellini separately and adding it as needed so it doesn’t get mushy.

  • These red curried lentils but I used an entire can of full-fat (urgh, please don’t use the “light” stuff) coconut milk. I kept an eye on it as it simmered and added more coconut milk as needed to keep it more soup-y.

  • I’ve tried a few Swedish meatball recipes before but this one is my favorite. It comes together pretty fast when you buy the frozen Swedish meatballs from Target. Like IKEA…but better.

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Fun Things

  • Speaking of cozy, my birthday gift to myself was a new sweatsuit. Enter this sweatshirt and these sweatpants.

  • After twelve too many splashes and grease stains, this apron is now saving my clothes.

  • These bins now live in my pantry to organize snacks and my life feels (almost) complete.

  • Starting a new hashtag on Instagram. Would love to see you join in!

Morning Routine Reality Check

Ah, morning routines. There’s something about the allure of the millennial morning routine, which, according to TikTok, is some combination of drinking a glass of water, working out, skincare, supplements, making your bed, coffee, and having a paleo-Keto-Whole 30-approved-grain-and-dairy-free breakfast. 

These routines…are not my reality. Well, besides the skincare. But I never make my bed.

The thing is, off our screens, real-life pops up, no matter how aspirational a routine we had planned for the day. Instead of a glow-y filter with perky music and “6:00 am” text floating across the screen as you rise out of bed, the baby was up several times that night, so you fight to stay in bed as long as possible. A kid throws a tantrum over getting dressed or brushing their teeth, and that was 20 minutes you didn’t plan for. Cheerios and milk get splashed across the entire kitchen floor. School gets moved to distance learning which doesn’t throw off only the morning but your entire week.

I do have a morning routine, though I’m not sure how aspirational it is. Maybe less aspirational and more relatable? Below, I present to you one Mom’s morning routine reality check. This is no TikTok video, so please imagine some dramatic Rocky-esque music while you read through:

6:30: Lie in bed semi-awake, hoping to fall asleep again.
7:00: Alarm rings. Hit snooze.
7:09: Turn off alarm. Take quick scroll through Instagram and weather forecast.

Read the rest over at Twin Citie’s Mom Collective.

Read, Watched, Listened

I love reading just about everything (okay, you won't see any horror or sci-fi picks on here), watching things that make me think and especially if they make me laugh, and wholeheartedly embrace the podcast. Here's my two cents worth.

READ

I Hope This Finds You Well
Kate Baer is all the fire emojis. This is poetry for people who don’t think they like poetry. Promise.

Wish You Were Here and The Sentence
I’m putting these two together because they both tackled the year 2020, albeit in very different ways. Both place their protagonists in the middle of a 2020 epicenter: Wish You Were Here in NYC (though also with some escapist island vibes) and The Sentence in Minneapolis. I think it might be a case of “too soon” for me, as neither quite hit the mark. I’m sure MUCH will be written about this time in the coming decades (both fiction and nonfiction) and while I appreciate the idea of tackling this in the moment, I feel like I need a bit more distance to consume this type of writing.

But You Seemed So Happy: A Marriage, in Pieces and Bits
I adored this book. Kimberly Harrington’s writing is on point and even though she’s writing about her divorce, I read it as a happily married person thinking, “Yes, that’s exactly right.” It’s funny, easy to read, and tackles a difficult subject with honesty and nuance.

The Best American Food Writing 2021
I look forward to this particular collection every single year. As far as I’m concerned, this is a must-read if you’re interested in food at all.

The Midcentury Kitchen: America’s Favorite Room, From Workspace to Dreamscape, 1940s-1970s
Eh, I was hoping this one had more depth. This was a basic overview of what I learned in my college classes. Though if you’re interested in home design and a general history of what’s become the modern kitchen, this is a quick read that covers all the basics.

Cozy: The Art of Arranging Yourself in the World
I’ll start by saying this book should ONLY be read in winter. Like, January is preferable. That said, I loved the premise more than the execution. It gave somewhat of an overview of coziness in the beginning, but the bulk of it was to present how different life scenarios or objects can be made cozy. It felt more like something that could be done in article or blog post form, not a published book. Though I will admit it made me think a lot more about how to make things cozy, which is a lifestyle I’m happy to pursue wholeheartedly.

Nightbitch
I’m still not sure what I think of this book. It was like no novel I’ve ever read. Not exactly fantasy but the woman thinks she’s a dog? Come for Rachel Yoder’s brutally honest writing about motherhood, stay to figure out what you think about the rest of it, I guess.

Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism
SO GOOD. Just ask Tyson: I could not shut up talking about this book while I was reading it. Amanda Montell, a linguist, dives into the language of cults and cult-like phenomenons (think: MLMs, CrossFIt, Peloton) and it is FASCINATING. It made me realize why I chafe at so much religious speak and also certain Instagram accounts. Highly recommend.

Matrix
I…did not seem to have the same reading experience everyone else did. The premise: about nuns in a medieval convent, was something I wanted to like more than I did. The writing was generally beautiful but I took issue with the pacing. Some things felt incredibly drawn out and other things were glossed over too quickly for my taste.

Finding Freedom: A Cook’s Story; Remaking a Life from Scratch
Tyson gave me a memoir subscription for Christmas from Wild Geese Bookshop and this was the first pick. They did good! I was in somewhat of a reading rut until picking this up. Erin French’s writing is lovely. I’m always impressed when people can condense their stories into something so inherently read-able. And I didn’t think I wanted to visit Maine but now I want to eat at her restaurant.

Black Cake
This book is exactly in my wheelhouse: it’s a multi-generational family drama, excellent writing, and interwoven with food. I think people are going to be talking about Charmaine Wilkerson’s debut novel a lot this year.

Re-reads: Beartown, Us Against You

WATCHED

Bluey
We’ve been watching through the entire series as a family (which makes all these sub-zero January days more fun) and it is the best. The rare kid’s show that’s just as much for the parents as the children; it gives me faint Simpson’s vibes. You can just tell that the people who make the show are actually parents. (See: how they depict the backseat of the family car, the subtle sarcasm of the parents, how the kids talk, etc.) And at 8 minutes a pop, it’s not even that much of a commitment. Hammerbarn and The Claw are two of my favorite episodes.

The Righteous Gemstones
This show is ridiculous in a good way. It follows a famous televangelist family who are the most dysfunctional you’ve ever seen. I liken it to a comedic version of Succession, except instead of a media conglomerate, the empire is spreading Christianity.

Harry Potter 20th Anniversary: Return to Hogwarts
This special is more nostalgia-bomb than anything else. It’s a delight, but nothing earth-shattering. You will laugh, you will tear up, you (likely) won’t learn much new. Still worth it. Also putting in my request to the universe for a 10-part making-of series re: the Harry Potter films. Make this happen, please and thank you.

WeWork: or the Making and Breaking of a $47 Billion Unicorn
I will take a fall of an empire documentary every time. (See: LuLaRich, FyreFest, etc.) Why are these so endlessly fascinating?

LISTENED
Honestly, nothing revolutionary to share. My staples are The Daily, Pantsuit Politics, The Popcast, and Maintenance Phase. (And also highly recommend joining Pantsuit Politic’s Patreon for their premium content.)